I haven’t drawn or really picked up a pencil or stylus in nearly 8 months. With my degree over, I just wanted to take a break. Then that break turned into a complete disinterest in drawing and art.
Today, I picked up a pencil and tried to draw.
Tried being the operative word.
I can’t find a single thing to focus on, a task to do. When I draw it looks like trash from years ago. Any skill I had has atrophied, and I feel like the worst person alive because of it. I feel like I’ve let everybody down. I’ve let myself down.
I should have been working on my portfolio, to get a job doing what I love, I should have been drawing every day, every day, practicing and not letting this happen.
But I can’t find any will or interest to do that.
Drawing is everything to me, and it has been my defining trait for as long as I can remember, and right now I feel completely lost and helpless. Not only can I not draw anything worth looking at, I can’t even find the will or inspiration to do so.
I’m lost and I don’t know what to do, and it scares me, and all I can do is cry.